Contracts
by LunarFormer
Summary: Ever wonder how I keep my Trans Misfits under control?


Contracts  
  
A Slagpit production.  
  
An almost TF fanfic  
  
Well, I figure it's time to come clean. Yes, I have my characters under contract to work with me. I figure it's about time I let you in on the last negotiation deal I had to make with my uppity crew. So here, enjoy, while I get over a little writer's block on the next Wolfbane Chronicle.  
  
You all know that I don't own TransFormers, or even Dungeons and Dragons. You all know who owns the first one, and the latter is owned by Wizards of the Coast. The TF thing shouldn't be too much trouble, since these are almost all my own creations. But I had to say it.  
  
Scene: A large office room, with a long conference table. Lining either side of the table are a series of chairs. From left to right, on one side, are Darkbane, an empty chair, FlapSnap, Sparksmasher, Vidwave, Tracking, an unknown 'bot, and another empty chair. On the other side, from right to left, sit Wolfbane, Lifewing, Lightstorm, and LunarFormer, who is sitting on the ground, legs crossed, since he doesn't fit in a chair. Sitting at the head of the table, nearest Wolf and Dark, is Slagpit. He is dressed in a long sleeved shirt with the Autobot insignia on the chest and THE TRANSFORMERS written in Japanese on the sleeve, a blue hooded sweat jacket, a blue jeans.  
  
Slagpit: Ok, people. I realize it's time to renegotiate contracts. I only have one real request…can we get through this without a huge firefight like last time?  
  
Wolfbane: I ain't making any promises, Slagpit, but I'll try not to shoot Dark or any of his twisted crew. And I'm sure the other Autobots with me are in agreement? {Wolfbane looks over at the others on his side, who all nod}  
  
Darkbane: Yeah, yeah…I still say you guys fired the first shot last time…but I'll keep my crew from attacking as long as possible, you have my word as a Decepticon.  
  
Wolfbane: The word of a Decepticon is about as valuable as a plug nickel. How about some real reassurance?  
  
Dark: Oh, you don't think I'll keep my word?  
  
Wolf: I KNOW you won't keep your word!  
  
Slagpit: GUYS! Save it for the stories. Now then…you know how we do this. I like to go down the table, alternating between Autobot and Decepticon. So, starting with our main hero…Wolfbane, do you have anything you wish to change in your contract?  
  
Wolf: Nope, not that I can think of…{ponders} although…  
  
Slagpit: {Long sigh} Yes?  
  
Wolf: Well, you see…Life and I would sort of like a bit more down time…  
  
Slagpit: {rolls eyes} Fine, I'll make sure you get extra breaks so you two can enjoy being together. Anything else?  
  
Wolf: Nope, that about does it for me.  
  
Slagpit: Good. Now…Darkbane, how about you?  
  
Dark: I need a bigger ship.  
  
Slagpit: What?  
  
Darkbane: Oh please…you gave me the dinky little "Enslavement!" that thing is the joke of the Decepticon battle fleet!  
  
Slagpit: It was what you were assigned! I can't change that!  
  
Darkbane: Oh…alright. How about getting a few more 'Con oriented chapters, then?  
  
Slagpit: I think something like that can be arranged.  
  
Darkbane: And how about one of those one shot stories just about me and my crew?  
  
Slagpit: Any reason why?  
  
Darkbane: Well, we want to get the word out that we exist! I mean, right now, it's called the Wolfbane Chronicles…I don't think we Decepticons are getting enough attention.  
  
Slagpit: {snickers} you might be whistling a different tune later, Dark… but ok, I'll pencil that in somewhere. That all?  
  
Darkbane: Let's see…{looks through his notes} Oh yeah. Next Valentines Day, I am NOT going to be talked into being on hose duty for Wolf and Life.  
  
Slagpit: PLEASE! I never repeat a joke, Dark. Not one that wasn't all that good, anyway…  
  
Darkbane: Well, that does it for me.  
  
Slagpit: Ok…Lifewing, anything?  
  
Lifewing: Well…Wolf boy here covered most of it…{she scratches Wolfbane behind the ears, in reaction to which he just leans closer to her and softly growls in contentment}  
  
Slagpit: So…do you have any requests for yourself?  
  
Lifewing: Not really, but could I show up a little more, maybe?  
  
Slagpit: Well, since we're done your resurrection, and Wolfbane's origins, I think that is inevitable.  
  
Life: Ok, then, that does it for me.  
  
Slagpit: Ok, that takes us to…an empty chair…does the chair have anything it would like to say?  
  
Wolf: Don't tell me he's gone that crazy.  
  
Slagpit: It's a joke, Wolf. That chair is for a special guest we are receiving later. So we move past that chair and go on to…FlapSnap. Anything?  
  
FlapSnap: Not really.  
  
Slagpit: Didn't think so…not from you. Next is Lightstorm. You ok, Stormer?  
  
Lightstorm: Yeah, I think so.  
  
Slagpit: Another one I didn't expect much from…and now for the difficult ones…Smasher? Anything?  
  
Sparksmasher: For once in both of our existances, I have no complaints.  
  
Slagpit: WOW! Thank you Primus for small miracles. Now then, if LF doesn't mind, I'm going to continue with the Decepticons, sice they have a few more members than the Autobots for the moment.  
  
LunarFormer: Well, it's not my first choice, but ok.  
  
Slagpit: Thanks. I knew you would understand. Now then…Tracking, do you and Vidwave have anything to say?  
  
Tracking: Yeah, we do. KEEP THE BOSS AWAY FROM THE MONITERS!  
  
Darkbane: Why you little ingrate! I'll go wherever I wish on my ship!  
  
Tracking: But every time you hurt a screen, you hurt my partner here!  
  
Darkbane: Very well…  
  
Slagpit: Ok, that's settled…and next is Ms…um…  
  
?????: I'm not giving out a name until I show up in the story.  
  
Slagpit: Ok, right, that's coming up next saga.  
  
?????: It had better.  
  
Slagpit: and now LunarFormer, before I start my end of this. LF?  
  
LunarFormer: Yes…well, it's no secret that I am tired of being escorted around by these D&D characters…  
  
Oak Leafdale: {emerges onto LF's left shoulder} Aw, relax. We abandoned the contest idea, so we'll be out of your hair soon.  
  
Mine Deepshaft: {emerges onto the right side} He's a robot, lad, he doesn't have any hair!  
  
Oak: It's a figure of speech.  
  
Mine: Is that what you elven pansies call it?  
  
Oak: You want some of this, digger boy? Come on, in the center of this guy! I'm tacking you out!  
  
Slagpit: NO, you aren't. anything else?  
  
LunarFormer: When can I expect my series? I mean, it is in my contract…  
  
Slagpit: Yes, yes, it's in the works.  
  
LF: Ok, then. Now, you said you had some issues for us to disscuss…  
  
Slagpit: Yes. Yes I do…{grins wickedly} Oh, Dark…  
  
Darkbane: {gulps} this doesn't sound good.  
  
Slagpit: One of our fans REALLY enjoys you…  
  
Darkbane: Oh no, not that crazy gold dragon that is constantly doing weird stuff to me .  
  
Slagpit: That's right. Zaheera. Well, I have elected to give her half ownership of you as a character for her own purposes.  
  
Darkbane: YOU WHAT?!  
  
{A giant gold dragon swoops down, and takes the seat right next to Darkbane}  
  
Slagpit: Hey, who am I to get in the way of someone's pleasure? Take 'im away, Z!  
  
{The dragon picks up Darkbane, cuddles him a bit, then flies off, saying something about chibi Cloud and Sephiroth, and how much they miss their big evil Teddy Bear.}  
  
Slagpit: And that about wraps it all up.  
  
Ok, that's it. Hope you all enjoyed it. 


End file.
